John Egbert and the juju thief
by jay768
Summary: After learning he's the heir of a powerful force, john is transferred to camp for people like him and becomes involved in a quest to prevent war between the denizens and the ancestors.
**Author notes- so begins my first story, this will be more into the book version rather the movie's. Really hope you enjoy this first chapter.**

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Look, i didn't want to be a classpect or something-look i didn't want to be apart of this.(well before all the awesome stuff comes along)

If you're reading this because this came up new on fanfic or something, i suggest you skip all this boring intro stuff and go to awesome fighting stuff! Tip of advice, don't watch any nic cage movies especially con air and get out of the computer and do something more proactive like take walk or chat with friends(i was joking), but i suppose this is more interesting for you.

My name is John Egbert.

i'm twelve years old, and for almost most my life have pestering with friends before (against my own free will) i send to this boring yardy school for people who rather stare at a computer screen for a months than going outside, which is so wrong. Although something(one of the awesome parts are coming up) happen when my ninth grade class went to this museum of weird artifacts(i bet some will be looking at any computer they find). Our teacher, Ms. basilisk(weird name, right) was middle age woman who has weird curves and monstrous teeth and in her back have something that thrust upward that almost look like she has tiny wings. In this weird mashup of a city and neighborhood, i had to put with Nancy Bobofit, a kleptomaniac girl hitting my sort of best friend Gamzee in the back of the head with a Pb&j sandwich(forgot to mention that yardy is also for trouble teens). Gamzee is a type a person who when you look at him, your thoughts are that he's a stoner(which might be true). He had scruffy and fuzzy hair and strange look when he's calm down. He also says motherfuckin(er when referring to people) in between his sentences, which always land him to the office. He also sort of crazy when he doesn't eat his "sopor pie", he turns into this murderous, mentally insane person. Anyways, Nancy start to throw wads of her second sandwich all over the place. I couldn't stop her because i was in probation.

"I'm going to punch her in her stupid face," i mumbled.

Gamzee tried to calm me down. "It's okay, john. Besides, peanut butter taste good with motherfuckin sopor pie".

He dodge another piece of Nancy's sandwich.

"That's it", i started to get up, but Gamzee stop me.

"you're already in motherfuckin probation, he reminded me."you know who'll get motherfuckin blamed if anything happens.

Looking back on it, i'd wish i decked Nancy then and there. led the museum tour. She led us between marble statues and and a weird Spirograph, which blew my mind(who knew old stuff was awesome). I was trying to hear but everyone was talking, and even though i try to tell shut up,Ms. paint would give the it's-okay-but-can-you-be-quiet-look. Ms. paint was a short lady who's face had a pale look and her pupils look like little black dots. She was our tour guide for this trip, and she love everybody(even the demon spawn Nancy). Nancy snickered something about a naked guy statue and i turned and said,"will you shut up"."Mr. egbert, would you like to tell us what is this, said Ms. paint as she point to the weird house shape sign. Lucky, i knew what it is."It's a sign for suburb, a story about four heroes who stop a evil creature call the lord English". Although, the class started to drift away with boys acting doofuses and the girls talking together. As we started to eat lunch, Nancy was already trying pickpocket a lady's purse. The clouds were getting darker each minute, but it's natural because it happen after Christmas. It's not just that but there already reports of random wildfires, flooding, and lighting strikes all over, i bet there's a hurricane coming along. Me and Gamzee sat at the fountain, away from the rest. We did that so people wouldn't think were classmates with those weridos, but will be hard due to fact were in uniform and Gamzee(yes it's a single answer).

"Hey john, can i have your motherfuckin apple",Gamzee said.

Since i didn't have much of a appetite anymore, i gave him it. When i saw the cabs streaming down fifth avenue,it reminded me of my dad's house,which is in the neighborhood part. I wanted to jump in one of those cabs and go to home,but he'll be disappointed. Actually he send me to yardy so i can grow up to be a man(like yardy's helping me). I was about to unwrap my sandwich until Nancy appear up to me with her three god ugly friends, i guess that Nancy was done pickpocket people as she dropping her half eaten third sandwich on Gamzee's lap.

"Oops". She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody sprayed it and with Cheetos liquid combined. I tried to stay calm due because the probation,but i was so mad that everything blank and only thing i can feel was a strong breeze. I think i didn't touch her but the next thing i see was Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain,screaming "John pushed me!". Ms. basilisk materialized right next to us.

Some of the kids were whispering,"did you see Nancy being pushed out of know nowhere". I didn't know what they were taking about,but i knew i was in trouble again. After making sure Nancy was okay, Ms. basilisk give me a demonic glare,"now, honey come with me," said Ms. basilisk.

"Wait"! Gamzee yelped."I motherfuckin pushed her."

I was stunned that he was trying to cover for me,but Ms. basilisk gave Gamzee the same look i get.

"I don't think so, Mr. makara," she said.

"But-"

"You stay here."

Gamzee looked at me desperately.

"It's okay, man," i'd told him as i was being pull to back inside. Nancy snickered while i was being pulled away. I gave her i-will-kill-you-later-look,but when i was done looking at her Ms. basilisk was already standing right next to the museum entrance, way up top, with her arms crossed. She leading me back to same section but it was empty, which starting to worry me. It was scare me, even with Ms. basilisk. It also look like she wanted to pulverize the Spirograph behind her.

"You've been giving us hard time, honey," she said. I did the safe thing and i said "yes ma'am."

Her look started to turn beyond mad, it was evil.

She's a teacher, i thought, it's not like she going to hurt me. So i said to her "i'll-i'll try harder, ma'am" while thunder rumble.

"We're not fools, John Egbert," Ms. basilisk said."It was only matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she was talking,but those words sent shivers down my spine.

"Well" she demanded.

"Ma'am, i don't..."

"Your time is up", she hissed.

She started to change as her monstrous teeth start to show out as her arms begin to grow shorter and shorter until it was long as a ruler, while her mouth shape into large open mouth-devilish smile. Her head grow with the mouth and pop out three tiny horns as her pupils begin to grow shorter and shorter until the only thing i can see in her eyes were pure white, and while all of that was happening her skin become darker and darker until the color of her skin was oil black and her body became this snake-like body. This monster verison of her was about to shred me to pieces until something weird happen. Ms. paint burst out door while holding a weird shaped hammer.

"John, catch!" she shouted as tossed the hammer in the air.

With a yelp, I dodge monster basilisk attack as the hammer land in my hands. With hammer i felt something coursing though my body and instantly i was jumping and hitting that monster repeatedly until i hear a scream and a satisfying thump, with her- i mean it burst into thin air leaving behind droplet shaped tar all over the place. Then i notice that i was alone and that Ms. paint wasn't there. Nobody was here but me. I was trembling from what happen earlier. I went back outside and it started to pick up a strong breeze. Gamzee was sitting on the fountain, with a museum map tented over his head. Nancy was still there, soaking wet as she talk to her three ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "i hope Mr. kerr kicks your butt."

"Who", i said.

"Our teacher. Duh!"

There was no teacher named Mr. kerr, so i asked Nancy what she was talking about. Instead of answering my question, she rolled her eyes as she walk away. I asked Gamzee who was Ms. basilisk.

"Who", he said.

But he paused at first, and he wouldn't look at me, so i thought he was messing with me. I saw Ms. paint sitting in one of the chairs, reading one of her books. I went to her, hoping for answers. She looked up, a little distracted."Hello john, can i please get back my Pogo hammer." I forgot about the hammer so i give it back to her.

"Miss, where is Ms. basilisk", i said.

She stared at me blankely, and then looked at me sympathetically.

"I don't think there was a Ms. basilisk, john", she said."Are you feeling alright"?

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 **And that's the end for chapter 1, really hope you enjoy this. Oh and next Tuesday i start writng chapter 2. Bye!**


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